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Literature Text
You can't feel it, love.
the pain that grabs onto ribs,
flutters within a birdcage set too close to delicate vessels
that carry the heavy memories I don't want.
You can't solve it, dear.
the fear that settles into creases of gray sidewalk mazes,
scatters itself like missing puzzle pieces
begging to be found, but buried beneath the soot.
You can't see it, friend.
the anguish that stirs behind wide eyes,
travels back to distant galaxies to find a home
that's safe from exploding stars and big bang theories.
You can't understand it, stranger.
the death that lives within my dreams,
sings me to sleep each night while pulling me under slumbers
meant for the pure, but corrupts the soul I prayed clean.
You'll never understand why I go back—
revisiting that place I call fear,
repeating those words I call shame,
reliving the death I call lost innocence.
--
2/21/2012
Copyright © 2012 Jen Fowler
All Rights Reserved
the pain that grabs onto ribs,
flutters within a birdcage set too close to delicate vessels
that carry the heavy memories I don't want.
You can't solve it, dear.
the fear that settles into creases of gray sidewalk mazes,
scatters itself like missing puzzle pieces
begging to be found, but buried beneath the soot.
You can't see it, friend.
the anguish that stirs behind wide eyes,
travels back to distant galaxies to find a home
that's safe from exploding stars and big bang theories.
You can't understand it, stranger.
the death that lives within my dreams,
sings me to sleep each night while pulling me under slumbers
meant for the pure, but corrupts the soul I prayed clean.
You'll never understand why I go back—
revisiting that place I call fear,
repeating those words I call shame,
reliving the death I call lost innocence.
--
2/21/2012
Copyright © 2012 Jen Fowler
All Rights Reserved
Literature
Everything You Borrowed
On Sunday afternoon,
after exiting the church,
you plucked the sun from the sky
and hid it in your palms
so that when I held your hands
they would no longer be cold.
When Monday night arrived
you snatched every single star
and used my tears to make
a necklace.
Tuesday's empty dawn shone
through the cracks of the door--
you stole the promise of what
could never be
and draped it around my shoulders.
After Wednesday's twilight passed,
you grabbed the clouds
and wove a tapestry of lies
that I hung on the walls
of my prison.
Thursday crept through us
on silent tiptoes,
waiting for us to take notice--
instead, we merely waited
for midnight to
Literature
Goodbye
i didn’t fall in love with you
until your skin was already grey and i
had to tell you what the weather was like
since you couldn’t leave your bed.
i didn’t mind long nights in the hospital
because making you laugh brought a warmth
to my cheeks that burnt hotter than a
forest fire, you never laughed at me for blushing
i snuck you in alcohol and forbidden foods
and pushed you around in that rusted wheel chair,
and all the nurses looked at us with
miserable eyes that said more than the doctors
would ever tell me.
naively i thought it was good news
when you said they were sending you home; but
when i saw you strewn across
Literature
a situation in which i do not survive
i was a lake whipped
into a fever pitch, a localised
hurricane in the wake of something
greater. the world was ending
and i dreamt of you while it was
still turning, a mess of bodies and
kisses. i dreamt of you still
when it ended, a slow dance
of crooked smiles and offshore
eyes. you kept me close and if
i was ever a source of happiness
or preoccupation
or horror
for you, i could let go.
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Had a chat with a friend tonight that understands certain things and how no one except those that have experienced it can truly understand, especially when it comes to the need to rehash old details and feelings, just to let the demons out to allow a reprieve of their built up evil. This happened after that chat.
© 2012 - 2024 BeyondJen
Comments58
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Touched beyond words, I am.
It is indeed your soul's voice I hear when I read you
and she glows as pure as a newborn sky.
It is indeed your soul's voice I hear when I read you
and she glows as pure as a newborn sky.